by Beth (scrupulousgirl)
Written April 23, 2004
My mind searches through memories,
longing for a sense of security.
I find myself struggling with an unfamiliar identity.
Sitting in the dark wrestling
with unexplored emotions,
I wait for the daylight to illustrate
the strength of my tranquility.
The awareness of a fruitless desire
is a menace to my heart.
In the darkness my fears come alive,
giving power to every insecurity.
The tenderness I found altered my views
and when I lay myself to sleep,
I prayed that I could deny you.
Will the ache inside be dissolved
to release me from this offense?
I tried managing emotions,
but found His spirit too intense.
I beg to wash away the pain.
I dream of my strength, renewed.
Waiting for the dawn to break,
the tears I shed broadcast truth.
I continue searching for ways to deny you.